


Darkest Side of Me

by shinysylver



Series: Shattered [4]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-24
Updated: 2011-08-24
Packaged: 2017-10-23 00:32:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/244284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysylver/pseuds/shinysylver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny can't take it anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darkest Side of Me

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Hawaii Five-0.
> 
> Many, many thanks to somehowunbroken for the support and beta even while she is on vacation. The title is from the Three Days Grace song "Animal I Have Become."

_So what does that make you?_

Danny punched the wheel. He couldn’t get Steve’s words out of his head. Who the hell did Steve think he was? Steve was the one throwing himself at Danny. Damn it, Steve was the pathetic one, not him.

He drove in circles around the city for at least an hour, trying clear his head. The last thing he needed was for Rachel to realize that something was up. He shouldn't have gone out tonight at all, but he hadn't been able to stop himself. Danny punched the wheel again and took a hard right turn away from his house. He might be weak but he wasn't pathetic.

When Danny had finally calmed down enough to go home, he let himself in the front door as quietly as he could, intending to sneak up to the guest room and shower before heading to bed.

“Where do you think you’re going, Daniel?” Rachel asked coldly.

He jerked around and saw her sitting in a dark corner of the living room. “To bed.”

“Really?” she asked. “You’re actually planning to go to our bed smelling like him?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Danny said quickly, his mind racing.

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Rachel asked getting up and walking toward him.

“Of course not.”

She stopped just in front of him, pointed her finger at his shirt, and wrinkled her nose. “You sneak out late at night and return home covered in come and you expect me not to notice?”

Danny glanced down at his shirt, where, sure enough, there was a large streak of dried come, and tried his best to come up with an explanation, any explanation.

“I’ve had enough of this, Daniel,” Rachel continued before he could think of anything to say.

“I’m sorry,” he gasped out. “It was the first time and it won’t happen again.”

Rachel laughed a bitter-humorless laugh. “First time? What about all those nights in the bar? Do those not count?”

Danny gaped at her. “How?”

“You weren’t exactly subtle,” Rachel scoffed. "Why do you think I made other plans for us tonight?"

"You knew all this time?" Danny asked. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want it to be true," Rachel replied. She stared at him for a long time, uncertainty on her face. "I only have one question. Why?"

"I don't know," Danny scrubbed at his face, not able to meet her eyes. "I really don't."

"If you say so," Rachel frowned. She stepped away from him. “Don’t bother coming to bed tonight.”

Danny watched her walk out of the room with the sickening feeling that things were well and truly over. He’d fucked things up beyond repair this time.

**

Work was miserable. Danny had spent the day testifying in court and it was all he could do to focus on his testimony instead of Rachel’s words, but he was grateful he had court because it meant he could avoid Steve. He didn’t think he could deal with Steve on top of everything.

When he finally got off, he hurried home, trying to craft an apology while he drove. He knew it was a long shot, but he had to try. Unfortunately, it was all for nothing, because when he got there the house was empty. Rachel had left him a note saying that she had taken Grace to a hotel “for now.” He could read between the lines, though. He would be lucky if he got every other weekend this time. Her lawyers were going to have a field day with his infidelity.

Danny crumpled up the note and threw it against the door. He was going to lose his daughter, again. Everything was falling apart and this time it was all his own damn fault. He hauled back and punched the door as hard as he could over and over until his knuckles were bloody and he couldn’t open his hand. It wasn’t enough though.

He looked around the too empty house. He couldn't be here. Not now. Without conscious thought, he grabbed his keys with his good hand and got into the car. His only thought was to get away, to be somewhere else, but he wasn't really surprised when he ended up standing on Steve's porch.

Danny didn't know how long he'd stood there staring at the door when it opened. Steve took one look at him and opened the door wider, stepping aside for him to enter. "What do you want?"

Danny opened his mouth but no words came out.

Steve's eyes ran over Danny with concern and stopped at his hand. "Shit, what did you do?"

"It's fine," Danny snapped pulling it close to his body and out of Steve's sight. He couldn't handle the look of concern on Steve's face. That's not how this worked. Danny grabbed the front of Steve's shirt with his good hand and dragged him forward into a vicious kiss, biting Steve's tongue. "Fuck me."

Steve pulled away and nodded. He turned and walked up the stairs, Danny following close behind. As soon as they got upstairs Danny stripped and climbed onto the bed. He'd prefer to do this on his hands and knees, so that he could just _feel_ and not actually see Steve, but he didn't think his hand could support the weight at the moment.

Danny grabbed a pillow, stuck it under his back, and then lay all the way down, staring at the ceiling. The bed shifted and he pulled his legs up as far as he could. He felt Steve's lube covered finger probing gently at his entrance. It had been a long time since he'd done this and he couldn't stop the brief hiss of pain.

"Danny?" Steve asked, stilling his finger. "Are you okay?"

Danny growled and pushed himself down on Steve's finger, gritting his teeth against the burn. "I said fuck me." When Steve still didn't move or do anything, Danny leaned up and glared at him. "If you won't I'll find someone who will."

A stricken look passed across Steve's face, but he added a second finger and started pumping roughly, opening Danny quickly. Danny laid back down, not wanting to see the emotions on Steve's face. "That's enough, just do it."

Steve didn't question him this time. He removed his fingers and replaced them with his cock. Steve tried to enter Danny slowly, but Danny had had enough of his hesitancy. He reached out with his good hand, grabbed Steve's ass and pulled him forward. Thankfully Steve got the message and quickly pushed all the way in before beginning to thrust. It was still too gentle though, so Danny slid his hand up Steve's chest, grabbed onto Steve's nipple and twisted. Hard. Steve groaned and began thrusting faster, driving the bed against the wall with each snap forward.

Danny closed his eyes and focused on the feel of Steve's cock, letting each rough, burning thrust clear away everything else. He was almost disappointed when Steve changed his angle, finding Danny's prostate and making him moan. After that everything was a haze of pleasure, tinged with pain, and Danny began to mindlessly push back against Steve, wanting more, but when he felt Steve's hand on his cock he froze. He opened his eyes and pushed Steve's hand away.

"What?" Steve asked, stopping his thrusts.

Danny met Steve's eyes and wished he hadn't. Danny could read everything on Steve's face, he always could, and right now he couldn't handle what he saw. There was the same concern as before but this time he realized what it really was. It was love, plain as day, he could see it all over Steve's face. Steve loved him. Despite everything.

Danny couldn't breathe. He had to get away. He couldn't take that. He couldn't do this anymore. He pushed at Steve trying to shove him off. "Get off!"

Steve quickly moved off of him and as soon as he was free he stood up, and began pulling on his clothes.

"Damn it, Danny!" Steve snapped. "Talk to me. What the hell is going on?"

"I shouldn't have come." Danny made himself look at Steve. "I'm sorry."

Before Steve could respond, Danny turned and fled. Apparently Steve was right. He was pathetic.


End file.
